Skate. Is for F**king Posers.
Tell your little brother to get off the quarter pipe.
Skateboarding is fundamentally cool, and everybody good at it is by default also cool. Don’t argue with me; those are the rules. If you disagree, you’re wrong, or a cop.
But like everything that takes a lot of effort to do and is widely respected, there’s gotta be the individuals that want the perks that come from learning the skills but know they don’t have the talent or energy to take up the challenge. As a result, they receive the demeaning title of “poser.”
Posers come in all shapes and forms, but in skate culture, there is no worse sin than poser-ism. Why? Because skating is built on community effort. In opposition to “polite society,” skating has always been seen as a sport and hobby of aversion.
It’s banned from most public places and subjected to small corners of municipal suburban parks or abandoned lots. While City planners work hard to keep skaters from engaging with their meticulously constructed stone benches, C-suite suits do their best to popularize their products with youthful groups of individuals by ensuring every promotional advertisement features at least one person holding a board.
And that’s where Skate 4, or as EA Games has re-titled it, “Skate.” Comes in. Skate. Is basically a Zuckerberg-esque metaverse Zumiez store released this week on consoles, pc, and mobile. The pitch is simple. “Skateboarding is back,” but it’s really not. Only the concept of it is back.
Yeah Skate. Feels good to play when you’re on the board. But most of the time, the game wants me skydiving, doing parkour, or rolling around in a damn ball like I’m Samus Aran, only in hopes that I stay locked in long enough to drop real cash on a digital thrasher hoodie and some vans. Even going as far as creating in-game quests that prompt me to open the store. Keep in mind, this is the same game that has been in development for over 10 years, and they made people who play-tested still buy the “founders edition cosmetics pack” for $50.00. I see you, EA, out here writing a college course thesis on dark psychology marketing.
Listen, I’m not gonna pretend that making games is easy. Just because I spend most of my days consuming video game media and have an uninstalled copy of Godot on my PC, doesn’t mean I’m a game developer. No hypocrite shit happening over here. So this is no shot at the devs, this is a shot once again at the C-suites of EA. I get it. I love cash too. You wanted to make a Fortnite emote skating sim. A PacSun play place. A game where people who never touched a board could buy the keys to the culture for a few skate coins and a drop in their mom’s credit score. However, my issue is this “reboot” ain’t in line with the legacy of the Skate games you’re trying to impersonate as, in attempt to bring new and old fans back to your series, and it definitely ain’t representing the skateboarding culture you’re begging to be apart of, so it’s coming off as poser-ism
By contrast, Skate 1-3 got tons of people interested in skateboarding, due to its "Flick-it" movement system and authentic approach to skating technique. Preparing your stance, prepping your tricks, that’s all a part of building the skill. The game gave us a board and said, “grind it out and develop some talent.” Fast forward to Skate, and now BAM! You can’t even fail a ground flip trick. (Saw a guy playing it on his Samsung fridge a couple of days ago, and he landed a varial heelflip through a crazy amount of lag). If anyone could kickflip after touching a skateboard, we as a species would probably destroy every tree on this planet in an attempt to make more skateboards.
Look, I love the culture of skating, and I tolerate the culture of video games. However, I do love that games give me an opportunity to do things I’d never do or wouldn’t be capable of, that’s the beauty of this medium. But if EA is gonna be bold enough to title it “Skate” and entirely lose the plot of Skate culture, they might find themselves out of style faster than weed socks, thrasher hoodies, and them damn RipnDip shirts.
“Long live Mike Carroll. He ain’t dead, I just love that guy” - BPM+
long live skate 3 🙏
I was more of a THPS fan. I played the original Skate once, but couldn’t get with with controls. I always felt bad about it though because so many people loved the Skate series and praise it for feeling legit.
I guess I was a poser all along.